Standing here, now in my 60s, I can see a theme of losses and grief ebbing and flowing through my life. Not sure whether I’ve more or less, that doesn’t matter.
What I have realised is that each loss gives us an opportunity for transformation. It’s an opportunity to take stock and decide how we wish to live now.
This takes courage and perseverance. It requires commitment to see the transformation through to the end.
January this year saw me starting a new chapter in my life. It is most welcome to be starting afresh as a person with some wisdom.
The previous four years has been a journey transversing grief on so many levels. Please, I really am not writing to gain sympathy. I am writing this to celebrate the courage, perseverance and commitment.
With the loss of my daughter, it was so clear that I had not only lost my soul mate, my best friend, also my future as I dreamed it and most mothers dream – mother of the bride, grandchildren, being there to guide the next generation. In a moment, all that had gone.
Then to complicate it all in the short term, I change country – another loss of different dimensions. Loss of the ways I had become accustomed to.
Even though, I wasn’t a native to the country I lived in for 30 years, I found coming back to the country of my birth hard. I found aspects of me that I prized as being Australian, weren’t. They were part of me.
This passage taught me that the way through to wholeness is not straight nor can it be. We need to stay awhile and rest along the way.
While resting though, settling is so seductive.
You look back on the progress and say well done. This is not the time to say, ‘I have arrived’ Yet, it is so seductive. Our egos want to reign supreme and do away with all that change bunkum.
Instead, listen to that deep voice urging you to take a step further, turning the corner and finding a beautiful vista that fills you with gratitude that perseverance paid off.
Even writing this today, I realise I am only at a vista and this too will be left as I continue with courage as my wonderful friend.
We are invincible providing we keep moving. Stop and we have to start all over again renewing our relationship from scratch, building confidence and remembering we travelled together so well.
This is about me, about my life and about life in general. It informs my approach in delivering coaching and training on Aging with Limits. Ageing is an inside job. Make yours as positive as you can.